Welcome to China! 

This guide book is dedicated to all au pairs with best wishes for a wonderful time!

As you begin your journey as an au pair, many days lie ahead in which you will be responsible for the quality of the child care that you provide for your family. If you can begin to consider yourself as an “educator”, no matter what your academic background, this journey will be more meaningful for you and more productive for the children in your family. With a little thought and planning, and by working with your family to select activities which are right for the ages and stages of your kids, you can leave the country and say to yourself,

“The children in this family are better for my having been here.”

It is a very powerful thing to make that happen. Good luck to you as you begin.

• 1. Cultural Adaptation
• 1.1 Living in a New Country
• 1.2 Cultural Shocks
• 1.3 Homesickness and how to ride it
• 1.4 Returning home
• 2. About Your Personal Life Here
• 2.1 Time off & rest
• 2.2 Friends & a social circle
• 2.3 Privacy & shared spaces
• 2.4 Food & feeling at home
• 2.5 Gym / Fitness Clubs
• 3. About Rules
• 3.1 Internet Use
• 3.2 The Three Non-Negotiables
• 4. About Travel
• 4.1 Inside of China
• 4.2 Outside of China
• 5. Transport
• 5.1 What Every Au Pair Should Know about China Transport
• 5.2 How do I get around with the children?
• 5.3 Who pays for transport?
• 5.4 If I’m a passenger in a minor traffic incident
• 5.5 Everyday safety
• 5.6 What if I am lost?
• 6. About Childcare
• 6.1 Children’s Screen Content
• 6.2 Helping with Homework
• 6.3 Guide the Process
• 6.4 Discipline Through Understanding
• 6.5 Beyond Time-Out
• 7. Lastly, About Activities
• 7.1 Things to Make
• 7.2 Things to Do
• 7.3 Group games
• 7.4 Games for the car
• 7.5 Other Activities
• 7.6 Let’s Read
• 7.6.1 Book List Appendix

1. Cultural Adaptation

1.1 Living in a New Country

If you’re thinking this—good news: it’s normal.

Your mind and body can handle a bit of change, but in the first weeks you are surrounded by “difference” all day: a new language in your ears, unfamiliar signs and apps, fresh flavors at every meal, new house rules, and a family rhythm you’re still learning. That’s tiring. Language fatigue is real—even simple errands can feel like small missions. Give yourself permission to feel overwhelmed sometimes, and remember: adjustment is a process, not a test.

1.2 Cultural Shocks

the Fight – Flight – Adaptation Mode

1.3 Homesickness and how to ride it

Homesickness is a feeling you may experience during some period of your stay here. It is characterized by the overwhelming desire to hear the voice of your family or friends, the tingling in the taste buds for the flavor of your favorite foods, even the irrational need to spend time with your little brother. However it is like the “flu”; it may strike you, you feel terrible for a while, and then it goes.

Homesickness is not a terminal illness. The best cure for homesickness is to stay busy in your new situation. When your mind is occupied with new thoughts and stimulating activities, it is hard to have time to think about being homesick. What helps:

1.4 Returning home

- yes, that day comes.

Part of adapting to life in China as an au pair is remembering that this experience has a clock. What feels endless in the first weeks will begin to move quickly by the second or third month. Near the end, most au pairs say,

“I can’t believe how fast it went.”

Many of the relationships you build here—with your host family, the children, other au pairs—can continue through messages and future visits after you return home. The daily rhythm you create in China is designed for this exchange and this family; when you go back to your familiar life, you will step into what you know, but you won’t be exactly the same. You’ll carry new habits, foods you love, ways of communicating, and a confidence that travels with you.

2. About Your Personal Life Here

2.1 Time off & rest

Days off work best when planned. Tell your host parents early if you’ll be out late or staying over elsewhere, and share where you’re going and when you’ll be back. Aim to return rested enough to do childcare safely the next day.

2.2 Friends & a social circle

Say yes to small plans—coffee after class, a weekend market, a museum evening. Keep first meets in public places, share your live location when you’re out late, and head home with a friend where possible.

When it comes to dating and visitors, house comfort always comes first. Overnight guests are NOT allowed; daytime visitors need advance permission. If you start seeing someone, keep meet-ups outside the home until everyone feels comfortable, and never share the family’s address online.

2.3 Privacy & shared spaces

Your room is private; common areas are shared. Agree on quiet hours, laundry times, bathroom routines and kitchen use. Label personal food, clean as you go, and kindly ask before using special ingredients or appliances.

2.4 Food & feeling at home

Tell your family about any allergies or strong dislikes. Offer to cook something from home once in a while—it’s an easy cultural exchange and kids love to help. Keep healthy snacks for busy days and drink plenty of water (tap is fine once boiled).

2.5 Gym / Fitness Clubs

Exercise is great, but contracts can be tricky. Talk with your host parents first, try a short trial, and choose month-to-month only; make sure the cancellation policy is written and clear. Large, prepaid deals are hard to exit and rarely make sense for a temporary stay.

Work out outside childcare hours, and consider low-cost options like budget / no frill gyms, community centers, parks, or home routines. Remember that gym time does not count toward your educational requirement.

3. About Rules

3.1 Internet Use

The internet is how you’ll talk to home and find your way in a new city. In China, you’ll likely use WeChat for most messaging and many day-to-day tasks. Some overseas sites and apps may not be easily accessible.

Whether you use your own phone/laptop, a public computer, or (with permission) your host family’s devices, protect the family’s privacy and your own safety.

The Internet is a great tool; it must be used wisely. If your host family has restrictions on use during the time you are doing childcare, you need to respect their wishes in this.

3.2 The Three Non-Negotiables

You may not do any of the following things. If you do, you may either find yourself in jail or you may be terminated from the program.

4. About Travel

4.1 Inside of China

If you plan to stay overnight, tell your host family in advance and notify your Program Manager; share itinerary, accommodation details, and an emergency contact. Travel at your own expense. Use licensed transport only, check last-train times, keep your phone charged and on, and return in a condition to work the following day.

If the host family invites you to travel on public holidays or school breaks, accept with thanks and clarify expectations: who covers transport and lodging, who sets the daily plan, what counts as on-duty time, and when you’ll have short off-duty breaks. Travel days often mean more time with the children; safety and supervision remain your first priority—ask ahead if you need a specific rest window.

4.2 Outside of China

Our guiding principle is clear and steady: we do NOT approve leisure travel outside Mainland China during the placement. It protects you, the children, and the year you came to build.

For entry and exit purposes, Hong Kong, Macau, and Taiwan are treated as “outside Mainland China.” Most au pairs arrive on a single-entry visa or a residence status that does not automatically allow multiple exits and re-entries. That means the moment you leave Mainland China, even for a weekend, your original entry is considered “used.” To come back, you would need to secure a new visa or hold a valid multiple-entry permit, and neither is simple to arrange in the middle of a placement. That process is slow, costly, and not guaranteed, which can end your placement.

Sometimes a host family will warmly invite you to join them outside Mainland China. It is kind to be included, and it can be hard to say no. If this happens, do not book a ticket, a hotel, or even promise to go. Thank them, and then speak with your Program Manager. Exceptional approvals, when they are granted, come with real planning: new paperwork, embassy appointments, additional insurance, and costs that must be arranged in advance and covered by the family. Even then, re-entry cannot be promised due to border control reasons.

Life does not always keep to our plans, and emergencies might call you homeward. If you face a serious family situation, tell your Program Manager immediately and we will consider compassionate options. Honesty and speed help; rumors and guesses do not. We can discuss early completion or other pathways that respect your wellbeing. In difficult moments, having one clear conversation can be a kindness to everyone involved, including you.

If this feels restricting, remember that China itself is vast and varied. Within Mainland China there are old towns that smell of toasted beef and water towns at the foot of the Great Wall, mountain walks with clouds at your ankles, and neighborhoods where the same noodle shop greets you and learns your name. You do not need a border to find something new.

5. Transport

5.1 What Every Au Pair Should Know about China Transport

In many parts of China—especially big cities like Shanghai—the car is not the center of daily life the way it can be elsewhere. Subways, buses, and ride-hailing are fast and reliable, and many host families prefer you not to drive at all.

If your family does consider car use, remember: we do NOT authorize or require you to obtain a Chinese license or any temporary driving permit. Please do not take driving lessons, practice in parking lots, or “just move the car.” These are program violations.

5.2 How do I get around with the children?

• Primary: Walk, subway/metro, and bus. Practice key routes with a parent first (home ⇄ school, home ⇄ activities).
• Ride-hailing / taxi: Use licensed services only; verify the plate number before getting in; seatbelts always. Agree in advance which trips are work-related and reimbursable.

5.3 Who pays for transport?

Work-related transport is generally covered by the host family. Keep simple records (date, route, amount, purpose) and photo receipts; submit weekly unless your family prefers another rhythm.

5.4 If I’m a passenger in a minor traffic incident

5.5 Everyday safety

5.6 What if I am lost?

Getting lost in your first weeks is normal. Prepare your address in both Chinese and English, your host parents’ numbers, and a fully charged phone with maps. If you’ve been “going in circles” for more than ten minutes, move to a safe area off the roadway and step into a staffed, well-lit place such as a metro service desk or convenience store. If you’re on the way to pick up a child, inform the school or a parent immediately so the child stays supervised. Use only licensed taxis or ride-hailing, verify the plate, share your trip, and—if needed—show the driver: “请带我去这个地址。”

6. About Childcare

6.1 Children’s Screen Content

Every child is unique and develops at his/her own pace and learns in his/her own way. Spend time talking with the children about what they like to watch on TV and why. If your host family allows, watch TV together and choose shows that are a good match for what a child needs to learn and how they learn best!

Here are some guidelines to help you judge what kinds of programs will be beneficial for the children.

6.2 Helping with Homework

Information, information, information… In order to do your job successfully you must know the host parents’ rules and expectations.

Sharing the rules… Ask for a meeting with host parents, au pair / companion and children to review the rules and expectations with everyone listening.

Reviewing the situation… Remember to keep your host parents informed about homework issues.

• What’s going well?
• What needs to be improved?

6.3 Guide the Process

Doing the homework is the child’s job. Helping when the host child is having problems is your job.

6.4 Discipline Through Understanding

“Fighting” vs. “Thinking” Words

Setting clear limits—and keeping your tone respectful—helps children focus on the choice and its consequences instead of getting stuck in a power struggle with the adult. When expectations are known and responses are consistent, “testing” is usually lighter.

The words you choose matter: limits can be framed with “fighting” words (which invite resistance) or “thinking” words (which invite cooperation). Wouldn’t we all rather raise a thinking child? Here are some examples of what we mean:

The shift is small— from commands to choices, from blame to plans

6.5 Beyond Time-Out

When behavior needs shaping, many of us reach for what our own families used with us. But there are many effective tools besides time-out. If you match your response to the situation and the child’s age, you can help a child gain self-control while protecting self-esteem. Try these ideas and notice which ones fit your child, your day, and your family.

Whatever technique you use, start from the belief that the child wants to do well. The real goal is self-discipline, best learned through firm limits delivered with dignity and care.

7. Lastly, About Activities

For more great ideas, activities, and resources, check this out.

7.1 Things to Make

1. Homemade Paint

Mix 1 teaspoon (tsp) water and 1 tsp liquid dishwashing detergent with ½ tsp food coloring to make bright paint. Be sure your young artist wears a smock or play clothes.

2. Soapy Finger Paint

Whip 1 cup soap flakes with ½ cup water. Divide into small bowls and tint each with food coloring. Paint on waxed paper or white shelf paper. (If soap flakes aren’t available, use gentle liquid soap and whip until foamy.)

3. Homemade Finger Paint

Mix 2 cups flour with 2 tsp salt. Add 2½ cups cold water and stir smooth. Gradually add this to 2 cups boiling water; cook until smooth and thick. Divide into bowls and tint; stir until smooth.

4. Paint Roller

Pry the top off a roll-on deodorant bottle, fill with tempera or homemade paint, and snap the top back on. You now have a giant paint pen. (Use a clean/new bottle and label it “paint.”)

5. Homemade Paste

Stir ½ cup flour with ½ cup water until smooth; store covered. For a sturdier paste, add ½ cup flour to 1 cup boiling water and cook on low until thick and shiny.

6. Homemade Playdough

Mix 2 cups flour, 1 cup salt, 4 tsp cream of tartar, 2 cups water, 2 Tbsp oil, and food coloring. Cook over medium heat, stirring, until the dough follows the spoon and leaves the pan. Cool, knead, and store airtight.

7. Powdered-Drink Playdough

Mix 1 cup sifted flour, ½ cup salt, 3 Tbsp oil, and 1 small packet unsweetened powdered drink mix. Add 1 cup boiling water, stir, and knead to a soft dough. (If KOOL-AID® isn’t available, use any unsweetened powdered drink.)

8. Colorful Creative Salt

Add 5–6 drops food coloring to ½ cup table salt; stir well. Microwave 1–2 minutes or spread to air-dry on waxed paper. Store airtight. Use like glitter.

9. Bubble Soap

Mix 1 cup dishwashing liquid, 10 cups water, and ¼ cup glycerin (pharmacy shops often carry glycerin) for longer-lasting bubbles. Make blowers from a straw, a funnel, or thin wire bent into shapes.

7.2 Things to Do

1. Make & Create

Homemade paints and finger paints are still magic for children aged between 5 to 10. Try shaving-cream finger painting on colored paper, or mix simple paste and playdough for sculpting. Mount children’s pictures and host a “mini art show” for parents. Turn cardboard into puzzles by gluing a magazine picture to card and cutting it into pieces. Make cardboard collages with cereal, beans, rice, or pasta; stamp-print with potatoes, corks, bottle caps, and yarn-wrapped cans for wrapping paper. Paint rocks, design “modern art” by drawing with white glue on waxed paper and coloring the dried shapes, and make mosaics from tiny paper squares. Save wallpaper samples to cut shapes for bold collage scenes. Create “real people puppets” with family photos on craft sticks and stage a living-room theater.

2. Build & Pretend

Stack shoe boxes into a dollhouse or garage and decorate with fabric, paper, and carpet scraps. Drape a sheet over a table to make a tent or secret hideout—great for lunch, reading, or a quiet reset. Set up a “store” with toys and homemade paper money; or line up chairs for a pretend bus or train with driver, ticket clerk, and passengers (stuffed animals ride free). Use a long wrapping-paper tube as a ramp for toy cars and balls. Take dolls and plush toys for a wagon parade around the apartment complex or hallway.

4. Nature & Science

Decorate a small clay pot, plant flower seeds, and care for them daily. Sprout a sweet potato in a jar using toothpicks, or grow a “sponge garden” with alfalfa or rye seeds kept moist. Paint a pinecone pyramid and (later) let kids knock it down. Make tiny cork sailboats for the sink or tub and experiment with wind and waves. Go exploring with a magnifying glass; do bark and leaf rubbings with crayons. Build a small balcony or courtyard garden if allowed, or simply plant herb seeds in cups. Start simple bird-watching with a dish of water and a window perch—observe and sketch what you see (check building rules before feeding birds). Create a bug “observation jar” with air holes, watch briefly, then release outdoors.

Take a lesson from the animals to relax and stretch your body:

👾

Stretch like a cat:

Start on your hands and knees with your back straight. Slowly raise you back up to a high arch. Lower your back slowly into your starting position

Fly like a bird:

Start standing with your arms at your sides. Slowly lift your arms up and behind you as high as you can. Bend your head forward and hold. Relax slowly to starting position.

Balance like a stork:

Stand very straight. Slowly bend one knee, lifting one foot behind you. Hold, then relax to starting position. Repeat on the other side.

Sit like a frog:

Sit on the floor with knees bent out and the bottoms of your feet touching each other. Grab your feet and pull them gently towards your body. Keep your back straight and hold.

Yawn like a lion:

Sit on your feet with hands on your knees. Lean forward on your knees and open your eyes and mouth very wide. Stick your tongue out as far as you can. Hold, then relax and sit back up.

Kneel like a camel:

Kneel on the floor. Rest your right hand on your right heel and your left hand on your left heel. Raise your chest up, bend your head back, and hold. Return to kneeling position and rest.

Pose like a cobra:

Lie on your stomach with your hands at your sides. Slowly raise your head and bring your hands up under your chin. Push up on your hands to bring your head up and back. Push up until your arms are straight. Hold, then relax.

Relax like a jellyfish:

Lie on the ground on your back. Pretend that you are made of jelly. Breathe slowly for several minutes.

5. Puzzles, Games & Thinking

Play hot-and-cold with a hidden toy. Make a memory game from card pairs cut from magazines; turn them face down and find the matches. Try “I spy a color/shape” around the room or on walks. Lace patterns by punching holes in a paper plate and threading yarn or a shoelace. Explore magnet power with a DIY “fishing pole” (stick, string, magnet) and paper-clip fish, and test what the magnet attracts (keep magnets away from electronics).

7.3 Group games

1. Red Light, Green Light:

Choose one person to be “IT”. “IT” turns his back on the other children and counts to ten as fast as he can while the other children quickly run toward him. Anyone caught moving when “IT” turns around must return to starting point.

2. Red Rover:

Divide the group into two teams. Instruct the teams to stand on opposite sides of the room and hold hands. The first team calls a player from the other team by calling, “Red Rover, Red Rover, send JOHNNY right over.” The player called runs across to the opposite team and attempts, with one try, to break through their joined hands. If he succeeds, he takes a player back with him to join his team. If he does not break the chain of hands, he must remain on that team.

7.4 Games for the car

1. What’s in the Cup?

Hide a few small items (coins, keys, wrapped candy) in a paper cup with a lid. Shake it and have the child guess what’s inside by sound and weight. Swap the object each round. Works just as well with a reusable bottle.

2. Buzz

Take turns counting upward, but replace 7 and every number containing 7 with “buzz.” If someone forgets, start again or switch the “buzz” number (try 3 or 5). Great for focus and number sense.

3. Alphabet Buzz

Go around saying the alphabet one letter at a time, but replace any letter in your own name with “buzz.” It’s silly and harder than it sounds; perfect for practicing letters.

4. I Spy on My Side

Each passenger looks out their own window and races to spot prompted items: a yellow taxi, a scooter, the letter C on a truck, a red storefront sign. Swap who calls the target every few minutes.

5. The Zoo Outside My Window

Keep a casual score of animals you see. Common pets (dogs, cats) are low points; unusual animals (a horse, a rabbit in a park poster, a shop mascot) are high points. Reset the score at each new neighborhood.

6. Simon Says, Mobile Version

The leader (not the driver) gives quick, seat-safe commands: “Simon says touch your ear,” “Simon says blink five times,” “Pat your tummy.” If the leader forgets to say “Simon says,” players should not move.

7. Rhyme or Reason

One player says a word; the next answers with a rhyme or a related word: “train… rain… umbrella… puddle… boots.” Keep the chain going. No winners or losers—just language play.

8. Lookout Lotto

Before the trip, glue or draw pictures (bus stop, bridge, ambulance, bicycle, bakery) on a card. In the car, children cross off items as they spot them through the window. First to finish calls “Lotto!”

7.5 Other Activities

1. Writing, Reading & Making Books

Write postcards or letters to relatives, friends, a favorite athlete, or a teacher; walk to the mailbox or post office to see how mail moves. Read a story, then act it out with costumes or puppets. Redesign a book cover or copy a favorite illustration. Make a “My Year” photo album or a “This Is Me” book with handprints, footprints, family drawings, and a short self-story.

2. Light, Shadow & Sensory

Punch holes in an oatmeal canister or shoebox and shine a flashlight through it for a ceiling light show in a dark room. Trace the child’s outline on big paper to make “Me and My Shadow” portraits and color in clothing and features. Create a “mystery bag” of familiar objects (spoon, brush, toy car); with eyes closed, guess by touch. Try a “limp rag doll” relaxation game—one person relaxes while the other gently moves arms and legs—then switch.

3. Simple Crafts & Collections

Make wrapping paper on butcher paper with stamps or sponges. Color salt for glitter-style art and store it airtight. String buttons into rings and pictures, or design pipe-cleaner flower bouquets in a tissue-lined berry box with a foam base. Build a box of rubbings—keys, coins, leaves, sidewalk textures. Collect canceled stamps and research the people or events pictured, then design your own “special edition” stamps with captions.

Safety & setup notes: Use washable, non-toxic materials; protect surfaces; supervise around scissors, magnets, needles, and small parts; keep water play on towels and away from outlets; and always check building and park rules (feeding birds, picking plants, outdoor water play).

7.6 Let’s Read

For most families, a time each day for a child to read or be read to is part of the routine. Parents and educators everywhere recognize the value: reading strengthens language and learning skills, feeds imagination, and helps children relate to the world around them. Beyond growing a love of books, read-aloud time supports spoken language, shows how stories have a beginning and an end, and teaches that words (not just pictures) carry meaning.

Children do pick up facts from books, but they also learn about feelings, choices, and everyday experiences common to all of us. Most importantly, the conversation between an adult and a child during and after a story models the kind of turn-taking, attention, and reflection needed for school.

Below are starter ideas to help you choose good books with your host child. With help from parents, librarians, your program manager and the child’s own interests, picking a book and settling in for quiet time will calm the day and make it richer.

Remember: when you begin to read to a child, choose books by the child’s developmental level and interests (not age alone). Many children want the same book again and again; repetition brings comfort and confidence and invites creative retelling with a familiar story.

Public libraries in China can be wonderful, but you may face a language barrier at first. Ask your for help from a librarian the first time, help you get a reader card, and show you the Children’s and Foreign-Language/Bilingual sections (often labeled “少儿/外文”). Larger city libraries sometimes run English story times or craft hours. If in-person borrowing feels hard at the start, try digital options here: Z-Library Z-library Project - eBook Library Z. Download free Books or contact your program manager.

7.6.1 Book List Appendix

Note: These books we selected are from recommendations made by the American Library Association and the Independent Booksellers Association.